read bill's latest entry. it's hilarious. and i thought my love life was bad. i hope he does get married in 3 days, that'd rock.

either i'm falling in love or i'm constipated. either way, i end up in the bathroom.

so me, aaron, and nancy went to target yesterday. nancy wanted sandals. while she was trying in vain to find sandals (it's cold now!), i saw these homer slippers. i thought "OH MY GOD! COOL!" i showed them to her. we bought them on impulse. aaron thinks we're weird. he wanted the pikachu slippers.

wacky shit is cool. ok, so it isn't softcore fruit porn. you might get that later in the week. this is funnier than fruit porn. what does this picture remind you of?

Ladder Theory

got this from Li's site. although i don't trust a guy named dallas, the cynic that is me loves this shit. i could go into a metaphorical analysis of it but then i realized that would require using my brain. oh yeah, the weird thing is that the author used to live in riverside. wtf.

are there drunk dialectizers? something that would take "i am drunker than i've ever been before" into "a m arjc,r eta i'av eneave rbeen before." there could be degress of drunkedness too. like 1 = "feeling sorta tingly" to 10 = "so fucking drunk that i would fuck a sheep if wasn't covered lying unconscious in a pool of my own vomit."

BRUCE: Everything's changed for me in the past few weeks. The pain of my parents' deaths... It's still there, but it seems smaller. And there's a new feeling now.
BARBARA: Which would be?
BRUCE: It's a lightness. A sense that things will work out for the best.
TIM: It's called happiness.
BRUCE: Whatever it is, I like it.

have you ever thought about kicking a small child? yeah, same here.

i just woke up from another evening nap feeling groggy. my head's in this haze. i'm trying to read but i lose my concentration after a few sentences. a person at my work was found dead in his apartment last week and i'm trying to figure out if i want to attend a memorial service on thursday. i was pretty friendly with the guy but i hardly knew him. my grandma is sick. i wonder if i'll get to see her by thanksgiving. it's getting colder and greyer in berkeley. the work doesn't seem to end. one midterm this week, a paper due the next. on and on. sometimes my pictures of hot women with fruit can't cheer me up. (goes back to sleep)

update: still awake. for some reason, i have a subscription to blender and the magazine really sucks. i just saw a huge closeup of that freaky michael jackson picture. like the one yang has for his buddy icon. there was a picture of moby...naked...wearing only a sock ala red hot chili peppers. there was an entire article on the world's worst band, the donnas and they gave their new album a good review. wtf.

damn, i hardly post anymore. i'm going to run with this chicks with fruits thing until it dies. i'll put up the alyson hannigan picture later. i like this apple more.

FUCK OFF AND DIE

have a nice day.

what's the pattern she's wearing? i'm interested in it.

the latest salon.com catch of the day/nerve.com featured personal/whatever that damn personals database that everyone uses is some asian guy with glasses that look like mine. i think i ought to get another pair of glasses.

where do you want to live after college? if you're not in college, then where do you want to move to? i'm considering SF, LA, Seattle, Vancouver, and Las Vegas. something about the East Coast makes me cring - i think it's the summers although New York seems neat. i also imagine myself living in a shack out in the middle of Oregon or some other desolate state eating fried chicken.

fireloong: i was invited to a party last night out on the middle of the street...almost went...then decided not to
FootPrintX: oh?
FootPrintX: any particular reason?
fireloong: it was far
fireloong: the party was with people 1) i didn't know 2) i didn't care for
FootPrintX: suck.
fireloong: oh well
fireloong: yeah
fireloong: that chick dawn was hosting it
FootPrintX: Nice.
FootPrintX: did she have a stripper pole?
fireloong: uh
fireloong: WTF
fireloong: what kind of question is that?
FootPrintX: i guess that's a no.
FootPrintX: shame.

anyone have a stripper pole?

i just woke up from a really weird dream. i was playing a fps (something like a mix of quake2 and half-life) but it was as if i was actually in the game. instead of using a keyboard and mouse as controls, i was doing it through my own body. hard to describe. i guess i had a first person ontological experience of the game. har har. anyway, i was going around chasing other characters who happened to be people i know (or at least they seemed like it). but the freakiest part was running like hell from a scary looking, creepy lobster monster. it sort of looked like the scorpion guys from serious sam but they were lobsters and had human heads.

wtf. i haven't been playing any first person shooters.

i imagine one day a really, really hot chick will go up to me and say "neat, a green lantern shirt" and the moment i attempt to strike up a conversation, she'll say "shut the fuck up geek."

see doug, she knows how to peel a banana. she's a blonde too.

it is dreamlike to have a sex with you (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) - just wanted to get this out in the open.

so i wake up at 9:30. i'm all groggy and shit because i went to sleep at 4. i take a shower, eat breakfast, and check up on the news. i head out for my first class, get there at 10, then i open the door. there's ONE PERSON in the 200+ seat lecture hall. she's staring back at me like i'm crazy. i look back at my watch and think "oh yeah, my class is at 11."

this whole not missing class routine is messing me up.

thoughts:
miho hatori is cool. she's like everywhere but no one knows.
i could listen to sabotage by the beastie boys endlessly.
my room is a complete mess.
good thoughts happen during the day, bad thoughts happen during the night.
grandma giving tons of gai-lan = me getting my fiber

my parents finally sent me what i consider a tool of the devil: a cell phone. i really have no idea what to do with it. i guess it could be convienent sometimes but i prefer to not have anyone contact me when i'm outside of my apartment. this coming from a guy who worships technology. i think i'll buy a hands-free headset so i too can like look a crazy person talking to themselves. i also plan to put my ring volume on the HIGHEST FUCKING LEVEL and have it play "Happy Birthday" whenever someone calls.

yes, i want to be an asshole.

(falls dead)

what happened to family guy?
what happened to animaniacs?

(sighs)

caught in a compromising position with your pants down, you think "shit! i forgot to turn off the stove!"

does anyone know how to convert oneself to a morning person? advice would be appreciated.