fruitastic

when's the last time you thought to yourself "hey, this world ain't so bad afterall?"

it's a mess.

temptation.
temptation to desire more.
to desire more than being content.
being content is not enough, you want more.
you want to embrace a warm body when you go to sleep and when you wake up.
you wake up and no one is there.
no one is there.

school starts tomorrow. my schedule blows. i bet i'll have to drop something.

i saw all these innocent faces on freshmen who have no idea what they're going to get into...

to ward off the impending doom, i will continue to listen to my music very very loud.

where is all your old computer junk? probably here. it's ironic to see the past being ravaged by the waste of the future. what's being done about this?

i'm tired. but in a good way. tired in the "i'm exhausted from doing something that was fun" way. not tired as in "damn, i worked my ass off just now" or "i stayed up all night thinking about depressing shit." i went to the beach. met people i didn't know. but whatever. jon is cool because he gave me a ride and can light a bonfire. i cannot light a bonfire. instead of spending my childhood in the woods, i spent my childhood in the back of my mom's restaurant watching TV and reading books. beaches make me feel good especially at night. there's water, sand, air, and fire really close to each other. primal.

i love the feeling of digging my feet into warm sand.

there was this chick on loveline who's addicted to sucking things. it started off with her thumbs, then popsicles, then to yeah, you should know. she said she wouldn't mind if her bf was eating dinner while she was doing it. she's also an import model. damn, where are these girls?

the new coldplay album blows me away.

i signed up for another class last night. 20 units. thinking of double majoring in cogsci & math. ling minor? maybe. paranoid response to the worries of my parents and myself. realized "whoa, in two years, i have to deal with the future." deep down, i know it's not true...people spend a few years figuring out what they want to do after college but it's still scary. on one hand, i want to study my ass off (probably at the expense of a more fulfilling social life) which will lead to a reasonable career so that i won't have to worry. on the other hand, i just want to go with whatever i had planned before, live life (party hard!), and then figure out something from there. that means poverty for a while. (sighs)

some tell me to do whatever you enjoy and figure out something from there. others (like my parents) tell me to do something that makes ends meet (even if it's something that you're not complete into) because life is more about security and comfort. gah. i guess the answer is to find a nice mix.

i think that since my parents have never heard of cognitive science (they'd rather have me be an english major), it scares them. they can't tell their friends what i'm studying. perhaps i should tell them that i'm pursuing how to computationally model a human brain. maybe.

i wouldn't have to worry about all this if i actually did look like Brad Pitt.

numbing oneself with apathy just to get through the workday is detrimental to the creative soul. - akuma from GR forums

just came back from newport beach. me, harold, and li went to visit miharu and her roommate janet. it was cool walking around on the beach at night where the water wasn't freezing, the sand was warm when you dug your feet in, and no one around. just awesome. too bad this is happening at the end of my summer. later went to hooters. i guess that was unexpected. i like the tackiness of the place. ok, fine, it was the blond chicks with big boobs and tiny shorts. hehe.

i don't want to think about the future. i'd like to be on eternal vacation.

there have been requests for me to put up a picture of myself. so here:

i'm being fed again! sometimes parents aren't all that bad.

oh yeah, anna was a finalist in the miss asian america pageant. anyone know the results?

damn straight. it's superman. man of steel. i saw him at denny's in one of those claw machine things. i had 50 cents in my pocket and kept thinking about making a go at it. as we were about to leave, i said "oh what the hell" and my first attempt had him propped upright adjacent to the big gaping hole. i asked for another 50 cents. finally after two to three more times, he finally was mine. hell yes.

went to an A's game. didn't pay attention. i just booed a lot. and bought a huge ass hot dog for $5.50. but it was fucking huge.

denny's was fun. everyone except me ordered a meat lover's skillet. what the hell happened to variety?

oh yeah, rode in the trunk of felix's car.

HELL YEAH! SUMMER SCHOOL IS OVER!

sex faces are funny.

whenever the fog starts rolling in over the berkeley hills, there's this magical time before sunset. all around me, the chilling gray mutes all color yet there's still some light. i feel like i'm being cut off from the rest of the world.

"An overcrowded world is the ideal place in which to be lonely."

i kept telling myself "oh, i'll do that next week" or "oh, i've got some more time." now my summer is coming to an end. do i have abs now? no. am i tan? no. make any new friends? no. there's always tomorrow.

posted by Patrick  # Monday, August 12, 2002 0 comments

The Good Life

When I look in the mirror
I can't believe what I see
Tell me, who's that funky dude starin' back at me?
Broken, beaten-down can't even get around
without an old-man cane I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I'm bitter and alone

Excuse the bitchin' - I shouldn't complain
I should have no feeling, 'cuz feeling is pain
as everything I need is denied me
and everything I want is taken away from me
but who do I got to blame?
Nobody but me

I don't wanna be a old man anymore
It's been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin' booty, makin' sweet love all the night
It's time I got back to the Good Life
It's time I got back, it's time I got back
'n I don't even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!

Screw this crap, I've had it! I ain't no Mr. Cool
I'm a pig, I'm a dog, so 'scuse me if I drool
I ain't gonna hurt nobody, ain't gonna cause a scene
I just need to admit I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!


WEEZER ROCKS.

girls are dumb (except that chick i was talking to on the way to cogsci because she was hot):

fireloong = guy, kalaki07 = girl
kalaki07: i can never see shit newayz
fireloong: it's LA
fireloong: light pollution
kalaki07: that
kalaki07: and it's bright as hell
fireloong: that's what i meant
fireloong: it's the same thing

madpeirrot = guy, milLa = girl
milLa: OMG i love weezer! they are my favorite band!
madpeirrot: yeah, they are playing pinkerton
milLa: i haven't heard that, is it their new single?

what's your favorite Beatles album? mine is Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

what i don't want to see in the morning:
women's underwear in my bathroom.

what i did see this morning:
women's underwear in my bathroom.

things that make me laugh:
- reading the Salon Personals' Catch of the Day. they're always a riot. perusing the ads is also funny too. it seems to be that all the chicks near Berkeley are butt ugly. gee, i could have figured that out. perhaps i was hoping for greener pastures (like past Safeway or something).
- realizing that the obvious isn't so obvious to everyone. examples: doug not knowing how to peel a banana, aaron not knowing that mike meyers plays dr. evil, etc.
- taking AIM conversations out of context. yay.

things that make me angry:
- stupid people suing over stupid things.
- people who don't know how to make independent decisions
- the lack of the $2.99 original grand slam breakfast at Denny's around this area. wtf.

things that make me cry:
- bombings, kidnappings, war, and the like. will it ever stop?
- chick hearn is dead. the Lakers will never find a better announcer.
- the future.

highlights of the day:
waking up at 11am. then realizing that i work at 10am and that my alarm was set for 9:45am. wtf. yeah. thankfully my boss is cool with things like that. god, i'd probably get fired working in the real world.

perusing comic books at comic relief. now i want to buy comics comics comics. paycheck comes in two days...hmmm....

end highlights.

i need something to jolt me out of my routine. i need something that'll wake me up, let me see more of life, scare the shit out of me, and feel real again.

i've started drinking tea and eating pb&j sandwiches again. i think this is the start of a healthier 3am diet.

i feel that it's a waste of space to talk about how bad my social life is so i'll shut up about that.

i read this really cool short story in my cogsci reader by isaac asimov. just one of those stories that makes you think. it's called "Someday" from his book The Complete Robot. it's stories like those that make me think how terribly dependent we've become on technology. what was life like before computers? i think now would be a good time to ask while there are still people who remember such a lifestyle.

OLP kicked some major fucking ass. they always blow me away. such great artists yet little recognition in this country. people should not get drunk at concerts. buzzed, yes...drunk, no. you bother the people around you and it's really disrespectful of the artists when you're yelling like an idiot during a beautiful, quiet song. too bad i didn't get to hang around japantown. another time...another time...

green lantern shirt got props again. word.

posted by Patrick  # Friday, August 02, 2002 0 comments