last fruit pic for 2002. enjoy!

i suddenly have a newfound respect for oranges now. i don't know why. btw, her name's kelly monaco.

what's more depressing? alone on new year's or alone on valentine's day?

i know i've been lacking in the picture department. it's because sleep and metroid prime have been sucking up all my time. just ONE more missile explansion. frick. so i'm going to attempt to post pictures all this week. i'm aiming for all fruit pictures but if that fails, then random nudity it is.

got this pic through a link from li's site. it's dominique swain from "lolita" posing for PETA. i don't really care for PETA but that movie made me feel kinda funny.

thousands of troops are being sent to iraq.
north korea tells UN inspectors to get out and that it wants to restart a lab capable of producing plutonium for nukes.
supposedly a religious sect has produced the first human clone.
retailers are at a 30 year slump.
a surge in U.S. home sales has set a new record.
800,000 jobless workers are going to lose their unemployment benefits.

does any of this make sense?

by the way, if you read this blog and don't comment, then for the love of god, do so. i won't be as paranoid when i get a random IM referring to the stuff on this blog. so yeah, just comment. or else i'll throw some monkey poo.

things that make me laugh:
porn dialogue
the simpsons
family guy
dogs doing it in the road
yum's blog
ironic situations
people who assume that me and nancy are "involved" - funny but seriously, wtf
jackass
bad roommate stories
random name calling
...

on and on and on...

y'all have a merry christmas!

in regards to that quote by sheena about giving me a lap dance, it does not mean that sheena is a hoe. i'd like to repeat:



the thing is that i'm burning her a copy of my batman: the animated series collection and she said she'd crotchet me a batman scarf (if she ever got skilled enough). i said that sucked and mentioned that i'd usually ask for a lap dance or something in a sarcastic manner but that since she's doug's sister, i can't say that. then she said whatever i put down there. so yeah, there's the context. in fact, the only conclusion that can come out of this is that I'M A DIRTY OLD PERVERT and that SHEENA IS A SAINT AND THEREFORE NOT A HOE.

so yeah, there. but the biatch still owes me a spindle of CDRs.

brb, going to poke my eyes out.

a v o n l e a: because I would totally give you a lap dance, patty.
a v o n l e a: ;P

her name's rachel elizabeth. she did a bunch of modeling work in asia. i don't know much more than that other than she really likes her milk.

victoria's secret advertises this as an "invisible thong." well, i have a problem with that. it's not fucking INVISIBLE. if it was invisible, i'd be able to see everything. but i can't. i'm going to sue for false advertising. i hope to get a huge cash settlement and be the guy who "works" with the models. excellent...

what were the cartoons that you used to watch as a kid? here's mine:

animaniacs
tiny toons
freakazoid
batman: the animated series
gargoyles
x-men
added:
muppet babies
bobby's world
reboot
where in the world is carmen san diego?
exosquad
tailspin and pretty much everything else that was on channel 9 at the time like rescue rangers, duck tales, darkwing duck, blah blah
mighty max (I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS)
transformers

this list is more about afternoon/saturday morning cartoons which is why the simpsons isn't on this list.

i think this accounts for a lot of who i am today. perhaps i should have been outside playing little league with other kids. yeah right.

at the end of some days, i sometimes feel like i haven't opened my mouth all day. but it's really that i haven't had a meaningful conversation with anyone. one of these days, my mouth is going to atrophy from lack of use. then spoons, forks, and chopsticks will become irrelevant to me. i'm looking forward to it.

the dark clouds gathered and opened up. it began to pour...and pour...and pour...and pour. it's cold. it's wet. it's dark. what an appropriate ending.

cool, japanish is back online.

in other news, everyone's being raped by finals. ho ho ho!

so i had this really whack dream this morning. it started off with me talking to patrick bolton (i think it was patrick bolton but it was definitely another patrick) and somehow he mentioned that billion lost souls were behind this door. for some reason, he opens it and all the souls try to escape and we're there trying to stop them but we fail. the apocalypse has started and the world is doomed. then BAM. it's raining. i'm crawling in a minefield with a whole bunch of other people trying to avoid detection from guards nearby. however, one notices me. he puts a gun to my throat. i'm scared shitless. he shoots me and i feel like i'm zooming by at light speed. i think i end up at heaven in front of an old man. he tells me that my job will be to do good deeds from now on. i get put into an office, as if heaven's an office, and i'm given a bunch of tasks to do. it feels like work. i switch back and forth between the physical and the spiritual. the freaky thing is that it felt like it too. the spiritual felt really "fuzzy" while the physical felt normal. the weird thing was that i would wake up everyday and think "oh, i've got to go to heaven," get ready, and then end up in heaven. we were given seminars on office rules and such. then i woke up in a cold sweat with the gray rain outside.

how fucked up is that?

so me and michelle were looking at a victoria's secret catalog and there was a picture of all the models lined up and there was this one model who was like a hed taller than the rest. seeing that these models are already freakin' tall, this was impressive. after a bit of searching, i found her name. she's ana hickmann and she's BRAZILIAN. 5'11" and she has the world's longest legs for a model. 46 INCHES. see that? 46!

somehow, the night ended me, michelle, and her roommate denise looking at pictures. gawking. oohing. aahing. my life gets weird at times.

period
pregnancy
pubic
penis
phallic
pussy
pissing
poo

what's with all these words involving the nether regions starting with the letter 'p'? patrick. patty. hmmm.

six pages into my twelve page term paper that's due on thurs. that's good progress. so i'm lurking through salon.com and i come across this column. i read it and think "right on! fuck the police! screw your parents!" then i realized that my dad reads this blog. oh well.

i also read this article about dave attell who does that "insomniac" show on comedy central and i thought "yes, all i want to do in life is drink, stay up late, visit bars and people who work the graveyard shift." if you watch the show, you'll see the allure of it all. my dad's freaking out i bet. neat.

i was working on my term paper (due thurs, haven't started) when i realized i had to put up a fruit picture. fruit wins...ALWAYS. enjoy.

i had a good thanksgiving break. how about y'all?