fruitastic

ask slashdot posted the question "Advice You Would Give to Your 12 Year-Old Self?" and this got me thinking about what i would tell my awkward 12 year-old self (but i'm still awkward). oh well. anyway, there's so much stuff that i'd tell my former self (i know, i know, the physics don't make sense) that i'll narrow it down to these three things:

1. tell dad the future stock situation. so that in the future, you'll have tons of money so you can buy bitches and hoes.
2. your parents aren't pricks. it's their first time dealing with a teenager. parenting is a tough job.
3. when you're in a situation where there's a bunch of people making fun of you and you want to say "SHIT!" really loud, don't. because the vice principal is behind you and thus you'll get detention.

douglas coupland is cool because he already wrote something about this like 10 years ago.